I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize