the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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