You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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