come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
