my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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