My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
