Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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