I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You pole danced in your parka.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize