I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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