Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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