Pants 0. Shit 1.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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