Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
bring money and cleavage
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
