we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
