I met the friendliest cop last night
he shaved USA in his pubs
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
