and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
