Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize