You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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