Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize