dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
