Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
