I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize