Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
