I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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