my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
