How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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