singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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