he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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