i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
