You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
