I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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