I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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