He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
