he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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