I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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