She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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