i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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