You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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