At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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