WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He shit in the fireplace
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