Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize