not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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