She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
