YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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