I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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