im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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