Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
