If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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