Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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