im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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