I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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