Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you win again, gameday.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
