Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
