Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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