FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
