girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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