Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
