I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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