Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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