my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize