YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
