My nipple is on Facebook.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
