Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
