There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
