that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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