I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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