Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
