Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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